How Deep Is Your Love 3 Page 13

  “That’s not the decision I was going to make,” he said. “Are you honestly going to give up your freedom like that? When we have a much easier solution?” Charm realized the both of them had made two different choices.

  “Are you honestly telling me you’d fuck the same woman who killed your baby?”

  “To keep the woman I fell for deeply, out of jail, yes!” He exclaimed. “Charm, I can see why it’s not desirable for me to fuck her. And I promise you, there’s no feelings in that. I can have sex with her and it would mean nothing to me. So you don’t have to worry that I will feel any differently about you.” Charm shook her head.

  “I don’t care about any of that. You’ve been inside me, Denzel! I can’t just willingly agree to you fucking another woman. I mean, my husband betrayed me that way! I couldn’t manage you doing that to me.”

  “But I’m not betraying you!” He exclaimed. “I’m telling you that I’m going to do it, with no emotions attached.” Charm put down her mug and stood. If she kept it in her hands she might through the hot liquid in his face.

  “Just because you’re telling me you’re gonna do it, doesn’t mean it’s not betrayal! It’s like you’re saying I know you don’t want me to fuck her, but oh well, I’m gonna do it anyways. It’s not right!” Denzel stood as well.

  “Charm, think rationally. You beat her up. And pretty bad! Are you really going to chance going to jail for something you actually did? The cops would love to see you arrested and could even pin what happened to Terrell on you, because you caught another charge. I can’t see you go down like that! Not to mention, she’s my ex of ten years. I’ve fucked her more times than I can count. Adding another one isn’t going to be a big deal!”

  “But-”

  “There’s no buts, Charm. I’ll give her the fuck she wants, and I’m doing it because I care too much about you to ever see you in handcuffs again.” Charm shook her head.

  “You fuck her, Denzel, and you can forget about fucking me. I’m not gonna be tag teaming with your ex on riding your dick. It’s supposed to be mine, Denzel! You told me it was mine a couple days ago, and now, all of a sudden, you wanna give it to her?”

  “Baby, this doesn’t mean it’s not yours. I’m just trying to protect you!”

  “Well, this isn’t what I want, Denzel! And I’m starting to think that maybe there’s something you’re not telling me.” Denzel looked her up and down.

  “Excuse me?” He asked. “Are you trying to accuse me of something?”

  “Maybe you just want to get back with her, and this is just the first step. You know you don’t have to do this just to convince me that it’s the only way you can fuck her.”

  “Do you hear yourself?” Denzel asked. “All of a sudden I want her back? Have I ever showed you a sign that I want her back?”

  “Hm, let me think,” Charm said. “Oh, how about all the times your ass was too soft to cut her off completely? You invite her into your house, you were actually going to sit and give her art lessons, you talk on the phone with her like y’all are fucking buddy, buddy. Those were all the signs, Denzel.”

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Denzel began pacing. He was feeling his pressure start to rise. The same woman who was able to calm him down faster than anyone else, was the same woman who was making his blood start to boil.

  “And the last time Gabby was here, you let her ass in so freely. Just cause she said she wanted to say sorry. It’s like she cooks up a pile a shit, serves it on a silver platter to you, and you just eat that shit up completely! So it makes sense the first opportunity you have to fuck her, you’re going to take it!”

  “You think so?!” Denzel snapped, his anger overcoming him. “Says the woman that left her husband almost three fucking months ago, and you still haven’t even looked at a piece of paper regarding your divorce!”

  “I told you I was going to get that done!” She shouted. “But that has nothing to do with what we’re talking about now!”

  “It has everything to do with it! If you’re gonna start making fuckin accusations about my intentions with Gabby, then I have every right to make an accusation about you and your so called husband, you can’t seem to serve papers to!”

  “You’re not going to use me to deflect blame, Denzel.”

  “All I’ve been trying to do is help you, Charm. And I haven’t asked you for shit in return. You wanna talk about how you fucking love me, but you can’t divorce your husband. So if you’re going to go back to him eventually, just let me know that you’re in this for the sex, and I’ll be perfectly okay with that.”

  “Oh, so it’s that easy for you, huh? If I go back to Terrell, it’ll be so easy for you to just shrug it off like I mean nothing to you?!” Denzel punched the nearest wall, making the paint crack and the sheetrock bend. His knuckles split, sending blood spurting out of his hand.

  “YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME!” He boomed. “That’s why the fuck I’m doing this in the first place! But you wanna talk about me caring about fucking her, when you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do to get a divorce like you keep saying you want. You showed me something real, Charm, and I couldn’t even be around you without thinking to myself that you’re everything I would want in a woman. I left Gabrielle without hesitation and haven’t thought about it since! But yet still, here I am sharing you with your damn husband, who you hate so damn much! How do you think that makes me feel?!”

  “What’d want me to do, huh? I told you I was gonna divorce him and I meant it. But you can’t honestly think that I’d be okay with you fucking her, can you?”

  “You’d better be okay with it, Charm, because it’s happening. I’m trying to keep you out of jail. So I’m gonna do what she wants!”

  “And what if this isn’t a one shot deal? What if she comes back and keeps asking for more?”

  “I don’t fucking know, Charm. I’m just worried about the here and the now.”

  “Just my luck I land with another cheater,” she said. Denzel’s eyes nearly rolled out of his own damn head.

  “Cheater?” He gasped. “You’re calling me a cheat?”

  “What the fuck do you think?”

  “Don’t fucking label me as no cheat,” he grunted. “Might I remind you, Charm Robinson, we’re not officially a couple, because you’re still fucking married. So how can I cheat on someone who can’t even be really mine?” He sneered. Charm covered her mouth as his hurtful words shook her the core. She looked him up and down. His normally soft eyes were now just pockets of anger and emptiness. Charm couldn’t take it. And she thought his words would never hurt her. She was completely wrong.

  “You know what?” Charm breathed, she marched out of the living room, pushing by him roughly.

  “Where are you going?!” He barked after her. He followed her all the way to the bedroom. She had a small duffel in her hand and she was roughly packing her clothes from the drawer.

  “So you just gonna leave then?” Denzel asked.

  “We’re not dating, right?!” She snapped. “So yes, yes, the fuck I am leaving!”

  “No, no you’re not,” Denzel snapped back. He grabbed the duffel from her, but she held onto it and yanked back.

  “Let my shit go!” She yelled. “If I’m not your fucking woman, then you can fuck Gabby if you want to. Hell, if you wanna see my ass in jail too, you can tell her she can go to the cops too. I don’t give a fuck!”

  “Why are you making everything so hard?!” He yelled. “I told you it would mean nothing! But you can’t call me a cheat, Charm. That’s not fucking fair!”

  “Then I guess life isn’t fair, right? Give me my shit!” She snapped.

  “I’m not letting you leave here like this, Charm. We have to-” Charm continued to pull at the bag.

  “Let me go!” She snapped, getting frustrated. But Denzel wouldn’t let go. “Fuck you!” She screamed at him, since he wouldn’t let go. Without thinking, she slapped him hard across the face. As if he was working on pu
re instinct, his arm came in her direction, with his palm open, ready to return the slap. Charm screamed in terror, bracing herself for the hit. But it never came. Charm’s scream broke through Denzel’s rage. Charm opened her eyes slowly. He was frozen in front of her, with his hand in the air. She swallowed and grabbed the bag away from him, and backed up immediately. Denzel shook his head and backed away also.

  “Oh my God,” he breathed. He ran his hands through his locks.

  “Charm, I didn’t-” He tried advancing towards her, but Charm continued to back up.

  “Shit!” He cursed. In that moment, he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. His heart was pounding fast and irregular in his chest. Not knowing what else to do, he literally, just walked away and left the room completely. He locked himself in the bathroom and leaned his back against the door. Why the fuck couldn’t he control his anger?

  He didn’t know what else to do, but to just stay in the bathroom. He was afraid to even look at her, because anger and aggression still pumped through his body. She’d pissed him off more than he ever though she could. And now she was walking out of his loft, and possibly his life. And when he heard his front door open and slam, he felt like he was about to lose it. Denzel left the bathroom and rushed to the living room where he’d left his phone.

  “Brie! She left! I don’t know what to do. She pissed me off, and I nearly clobbered her damn head off, and Gabby, with her conniving ass, is making me fuck her, and now, Charm is gone, and I-”

  “Whoa, whoa, calm down, Denz. Tell me what happened.” Denzel took a couple deep breaths and explained everything to Brianna. When he was done, she sighed heavily.

  “First things first,” Brianna said. “You have to give her time. Well, the both of you need time to cool down before you two can talk again. And the next thing; I don’t think you should have sex with Gabby either. That’s going to destroy her trust in you. She’s gonna start to treat you like Terrell.”

  “I know, but I can’t allow Gabby to have control over her freedom! I just can’t!”

  “That’s true. It’s real complicated, but you have to go with your guts here. And also you have to listen to what Charm wants. First thing tomorrow though, you have to try and make amends with her. Convince her that the sex will mean nothing.”

  “I tried to tell her. She just won’t fucking listen. Brie, you need to talk to her!”

  “I mean, I can try, but in the end, she just wants to reassurance from you.”

  “Brianna, I can’t lose her.”

  “And you won’t. But you need to calm down and speak to her in the morning.”

  “Alright fine. Thanks, Brie.” Denzel hung up the phone and sighed hard. Not being able to talk to Charm from the night and not sleeping with her in his arms was going to be tough. But that’s what he had to do, until he made things right with her.

  ********

  Charm knocked on Jason’s front door softly. He answered with a drink in his hand. He was smiling, until he saw the look on Charm’s face.

  “Please don’t tell me he fucked up,” Jason sighed.

  “He did more than that,” Charm said. “Let me in. I think I’m gonna be staying with you again for a little bit. Me and Denzel got some shit to figure out.”

  “Tell me everything that happened,” Jason said, leading her to his living room. Charm broke down the whole conversation and about what Gabby wanted. She left the part about Denzel nearly hitting her for last. Once she told everything, Jason was silent.

  “We all know he has a bad temper when he gets riled up. But we cannot excuse him about to hit you. What if he had?”

  “Who knows? I’m just happy he didn’t. But it does scare me that his temper is that bad. And when he’s not angry, he’s the most carefree and caring man. And now he wants to fuck his ex.”

  “Charm, he’s not doing it for pleasure. He’s doing it because you could end up in jail. You know that cop is out to get you. If this gets brought up, he’s gonna go to town with it.”

  “I don’t wanna be in jail. But at the same time, just thinking about him being intimate with her, just makes me so upset. It’s like he’s cheating on me. But then he made it clear we’re not technically dating, so I can’t think like that.”

  “Part of that is true, Charm. You still have be divorced to make your relationship with Denzel legit. I don’t fault him for being upset about that. What’s important is that he feels like he’s doing something to protect you. When you were in jail for that one night, he went crazy, Charm. He really couldn’t have you in that kind of trouble. And now with an assault charge, you did do it, which means, real jail time is a possibility. No matter what James can do or say. If I were you, I’d rather not end up in jail.”

  “I just feel like this is a Terrell situation all over again. And I am deeply running away from it.”

  “Don’t run from it, Charm. Like a bull, charge at it head on. Denzel’s gonna do what he has to do. You’re just going to have to decide if you wanna fight harder this time. But for now, just rest up. You know that he’s not going to just let you go and not come seek you out. I’m surprised he’s not calling you right now.”

  “Oh, just wait until tomorrow,” Charm sighed. She shook her head. She knew things were going to be hard between her and Denzel, and them being able to move on. But she didn’t imagine this. And she took heed to what Jason advised her. That she should fight whatever problems they had head on, and not to run from anything. She wanted Denzel, and she should fight for him. No matter how it hurt her, she just had to remember to keep up the fight.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Denzel couldn’t wait until he got to the gallery the next day. Of course, the moment he woke up that morning, he called Charm, and she put him straight to voicemail. He didn’t let it frustrate him however. There was a memo in his phone that they were meeting at the gallery for another meeting, before they had an art class. So he knew for sure he’d get to see her. And he would talk to her, if it killed him.

  He didn’t even bother to contact Brianna when he left his loft. Before getting to the gallery, Denzel stopped for a large bouquet of flowers and waited outside for Charm to arrive, even though he had a key to get into the gallery. He just wanted her to see him immediately. She still didn’t have her car back, and last night, Denzel was assuming she’d taken a cab to Jason’s place. And it was Jason’s car that parked right in front of the gallery a little after ten. Both Charm and Jason stepped out.

  “Well, hello,” Jason sang. He gave Charm a look before walking towards Denzel with a smile. He fist bumped Denzel before opening the gallery and walking in. Charm sighed and walked up to Denzel. She was wearing her overalls again, with her Converse and a bandeau top underneath. He could see the soft skin of her stomach and his arousal was almost immediate. It was crazy what this woman did to him.

  “Hey,” she greeted.

  “Hey,” he smiled. He handed her the large flowers. She took them and inhaled the scent of the petals deeply.

  “Thank you,” she said, softly.

  “I know it doesn’t make up for the fact that I scared you the way I did last night,” he said. “I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t snap out of it.”

  “It really scared me,” she admitted. “And for the first time, I didn’t feel safe.”

  “I told you my anger wasn’t a joke. You keep saying that you’re not afraid of it, but I knew if it ever came down to it being directed at you, you’d be afraid.”

  “Let’s make a pact. Next time you feel the hulk coming on, just walk off, and I won’t continue to argue with you.”

  “That can be done,” Denzel agreed. “But what I said about us not being together, really it was uncalled for. That was the anger speaking.”

  “It holds some truth. But I mean, I told you I loved you. I didn’t expect you’d ever say that, and hurt me.”

  “I know. And I feel like complete shit for saying it. I just feel like, without that divorce, then you really aren’t mine,
because at any time you could just go back to him.”

  “I don’t plan on it, Denzel. I keep trying to tell you that! I wish you would believe me!”

  “I’m going to stop doubting you, Charm. I just want us to make it through this.” Charm paused. She took his hand and squeezed it.

  “Are you still going to sleep with her?” She asked, quietly.

  “Unfortunately,” he mumbled. Charm let go of his hand and sighed hard. Without saying anything else, she went inside the gallery, clutching her flowers to her chest. And in just that notion, Denzel realized his relationship with Charm wasn’t going to be the same.

  That day at the gallery was different than any other day at the gallery. Though Brianna and Jason were talkative, Denzel and Charm barely spoke. And when they did, it was in hushed tones. When James came to the gallery, Charm had jumped up excitedly, ready for him to give her good news. But it was all bad. A date for her trial was set, and having an assault on her record would only make it seem to the jury that underneath all her smiles and hard work, there was a woman who had an unmanageable temper, and was capable of causing someone harm. Even if James could get her off an assault charge, he didn’t want it on her record. Period. So that gave them the ultimate answer that they needed. Gabby couldn’t report this to the police. And that meant that Denzel had to do what he had to do. The energy was drained out of Charm the moment James delivered the news and that was it. She didn’t smile for the rest of the day. Denzel didn’t smile either. There was nothing to smile about. No other evidence had revealed itself to show that Charm was innocent in the first place, regarding Terrell’s shooting, and on top of that, she was being swindled into letting another woman have her man to not further tarnish her good name. It was all a bunch of bullshit, but it was the hand they were dealt.

  “Charm, come home with me,” Denzel said to her. It was after 9pm, and they had just wrapped up a ten person art lesson. He could still see she was very upset and he didn’t want to spend the night alone again.

  “I don’t know, Denzel, I-”